Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The Birds and the Bees...and Doughnuts

Elizabeth has been very curious lately about how, exactly, babies are born. I typically try to be very forth-right with the girls. They ask uncomfortable questions and I matter-of-factly tell them the answer, all the while sweating bullets and praying I’m not ruining them for life. Typically, Elizabeth will ask us some big uncomfortable question, we’ll answer her, she’ll nod and move on. No big revelations. No tears. No big deal. 

The other day, we were playing a game when Elizabeth looked at Anne and said very matter-of-factly, “Did you know that Mom was born with all the parts to make a baby, but they were itty bitty? Then they got bigger as she got older. That uterus is VERY important for having a baby. Yep, can’t have a baby without that uterus.” I just stood there opening and closing my mouth like a guppy and the girls moved on to the next natural topic: dinosaurs. Elizabeth is an equal opportunity stunner, so the next day she set her sights on Will. "Daddy, I know you don't have a uterus, so what parts do YOU have for making a baby?" Will ducked, dodged, mumbled, and then told a vague story about chickens. In theory he wants to be honest and nonchalant, but he’s not there yet.

Yesterday, faced with the “STORM OF THE CENTURY" the girls and I decided to take a snow day (or should we just call it a light-dusting of snow day). It was just like old times of stay-at-home-momming. We had a tea party, played games, went shopping, and then I got fodder for my blog.

We were on our way the store when a news story came on the radio about a lesbian couple who were taking legal action to have both of their names added to their child’s birth certificate. The story kindly outlined how the child came about. The birth mother carried a collected egg from the other mother that was "inseminated by sperm from a donor.” I heard Anne from the back seat, “They just said…” and I froze. Now I was going to have to explain sperm and donors????? Come on, world! Give me a break! I was collecting my thoughts as she continued  “…sprung from a doughnut! Can you think of a doughnut big enough for me to jump from? I would eat ALL of it if it had sprinkles on it.” 

Yep, that's exactly what they said, Anne. He sprung from a doughnut. It's a new Olympic game. 

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